Abraham Alexander stole over $237,000 from the Cardiovascular Research Foundation, spending upwards of $11,000 of the embezzled funds on the services of dominatrix Lady Sage (right). Despite the Lady’s harsh disciplinary techniques, Abraham continued to be a bad, bad boy, and will have to give the Foundation most of his pending divorce settlement. Who knew his wife would get all bitchy about it?? Pshhh… women.
[tags]dominatrix, larceny, charity, crime[/tags]
Product Spotlight: Welcome the living-impaired to your home with this delightful doormat, a stylish and durable celebration of tolerance and diversity.
Some nutjob named Aaron Kyle Huff walked into a Seattle house on Saturday morning and shot eight people before turning the gun on himself. Huff and six of his victims died, making it one of the deadliest crimes in local history (and remember, we had Ted Bundy and the Green River Killer). Local response is typical… everyone is shocked, Aaron always seemed like such a nice young man, so happy and energetic, sprinkling rose petals and frolicking amongst the wood nymphs.
Normally you don’t expect to find a houseful of kids dressed up like zombies smoking weed at 7:00 a.m., but you have to understand that this all happened on Capitol Hill, Seattle’s ground zero for alternative culture. After some wholesome fun at a zombie rave dubbed “Better Off Undead,” a bunch of post-goth death enthusiasts headed over to a nearby house for an after-party. Just after 7:00 a.m. Aaron Huff arrived and started his murder spree, although why he targeted that specific house is still unknown.
Some of the zombie kids were on the evening news, lamenting the shattered bond of trust so important to the rave community. What does this sacred rave trust entail, aside from not ratting out fellow acid-dropping high schoolers? Your guess is as good as mine. A couple ravers have waxed poetic about rave culture values like tolerance and acceptance of everyone, no matter what they look like or how they dress. In reality, acceptance generally hinges on being the same kind of “different” that they are… a lethal combination of Banana Republic and heterosexuality earns me freak status. I wonder if goth/raver self-romanticizing will be effected by the realization that death isn’t as fun as it looks.
[tags]aaron kyle huff, seattle, crime, murder[/tags]
According to an article in the LA Times, illegal immigrants in Maywood, CA don’t like having their cars impounded. Common traffic stops and drunk-driving checkpoints are extra annoying for them since they don’t have a driver’s license or insurance. (Come to think of it… law enforcement isn’t really very popular among people who are breaking the law.)
Recently, a “pro-[illegal]immigrant” city council was elected and got right to the root of the problem by immediately dismantling the entire traffic department.
Although the town is 96% hispanic, there are lots of residents who aren’t keen on the council giving the green light to illegal drivers. The opposition is mostly legal immigrants who worked hard and went through all the steps of legal immigration, and now pay through the nose (it is California, after all) to maintain the roads, schools, and other tax-funded amenities that illegals use for free.
The council says it wants to make Maywood a “sanctuary city” for illegal immigrants. That’s all fine/dandy, but they’re not gonna have much of a budget with such limited tax revenue and zero traffic fine revenue. However, I’m sure they can crawl into bed with some sugar-daddy special interest groups and get along just fine.
[tags]illegal immigration, illegal aliens, crime, maywood, california[/tags]
Hugo Selenski’s attorney argued that there was no physical evidence tying his client to the murders of Frank James and Adeiye Keiler (except for the garbage bags filled with their charred remains found on his property). Cops were actually looking for two other missing people, whose bodies were also found at Selenski’s place, when they came across the garbage bags of James and Keiler’s stubborn teeth and bones that just wouldn’t burn. In the end they found between 5 and 12 people’s remains at Hugo’s.
Selenski, a convicted bank robber who briefly escaped from jail in 2003, has a variety of hobbies including needlepoint, microwave cookery, and luring drug dealers to his house so he can rob and murder them. This time around Hugo was also acquitted of two counts of robbery and one count of conspiracy. However, the jury did find him guilty of abusing a corpse. So although the jury can’t say he killed James and Keiler, they can apparently agree that he burned their bodies.
As soon as he was acquitted the prosecutors charged him with a couple more murders. There are enough bodies in the backyard to keep them all occupied for awhile. After they get tired of that, maybe we can get out some play-dough or the Lite Brite or something.
[tags]Selenski, trial, crime, bones, murder[/tags]
Thanks to some web-savvy law enforcement agents, a bunch of pervs were indicted for chatting it up in Kiddypics & Kiddyvids, where they swapped perv photos with other pervs. Maybe they’ll regret molesting children on real-time video feeds after they get to prison, and experience some real-time molestation courtesy of White Power Bruno. Here are a few resources to help stop child exploitation:
[tags]crime, child porn, child exploitation, child abuse[/tags]
Though it might be considered a little tame by today’s limb-sawing, babysitter-gutting standards, Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho is still considered one of the best horror movies ever made. The story and characters were taken directly from a book of the same name written by renaissance man Robert Bloch, a literary genius whose broad spectrum of published works includes Psycho II, The Psychopath, Psycho House and Psycho-Paths. Bloch penned a number of classics, ranging from the devastatingly witty (Fear Today, Gone Tomorrow; Such Stuff As Screams Are Made Of) to the bone-chillingly unclear (Lost in Time and Space with Lefty Feeps; Mysteries of the Worm).
Robert Bloch based Psycho on real-life nutjob Ed Gein. No, Gein didn’t have a spooky hotel, and he didn’t stab anyone in a shower (that I know of). But he did have some mommy-issues. And some making-clothes-out-of-dead-women issues. But who doesn’t, am I right?
Eddie was born in 1906, and spent most of his life on a big ol’ farm in Plainfield, Wisconsin. His mother Augusta was an exceedingly unpleasant woman, who continually reminded Ed and his older brother Henry that all women (except her) were hellbound harlots. As adults, the boys remained on the farm and worked as handymen. Ed worshipped mommy and believed everything she told him, but Henry occasionally shocked young Ed with candid comments regarding her rampant bitchery. Henry died under “mysterious circumstances.”
Several years later, dear Augusta finally died, and I’m happy to report that her body is currently rotting in the cold ground. Ed wasn’t as enthusiastic about her death as I am, so he kept the house exactly as she had left it, a shrine to his dear mamma. He lived in the utility room and kitchen, amusing himself with books about Nazis and South Sea cannibals, as well as local newspaper obituaries. Eventually he started digging up corpses. You know, for kicks.
You see, as it turns out, Augusta’s patented brand of bizarre psychosexual abuse had a lasting effect on her remaining son. I know, I’m just as shocked as you are.
Despite his morbid nocturnal activities, Ed Gein decided to try his hand at something a little more domestic. An aspiring seamstress, he designed and created a lovely lady-vest and lady-mask from lady-skin. When Gus, Ed’s helpful digging partner, was hauled off to a nursing home, Ed continued his hobby by murdering two local women.
The things he did with the dead bodies (all of whom appeared to be roughly the same age and size as his mother) are really quite distasteful. In 1957, word got around that old Ed wasn’t quite right, and police raided the farmhouse. Inside, they found some pretty messed up stuff. If you want to see the grisly crime scene photos, do so at your own risk. I really don’t want them haunting up my site.
Annnnnyway, Ed Gein confessed to the two murders and lived the rest of his life in an insane asylum. (I love a happy ending!)
[tags]Ed Gein, crime, murder, Psycho[/tags]
For the second time in six months, John “Junior” Gotti is walking out of the courthouse a free man. A mistrial was declared when jurors couldn’t agree on whether the allegedly “reformed” Gotti should serve time for numerous mob-related crimes. After just a day and a half of deliberation, the jury told the judge they were hopelessly deadlocked and wanted to “go home ASAP.”
Despite the second jury’s deadlock, the state of New York has vowed to hold a third trial. Could it be that jurors are somewhat reluctant to convict a violent mob boss? Gotti is accused of ordering the shooting and kidnapping of Curtis Sliwa, founder of The Guardian Angels anti-crime community program, because he besmirched their honorable family name on a radio show. But perhaps jurors aren’t afraid of Gotti at all; rather, they’ve been charmed by this devilishly handsome rogue who dares to thumb his nose at the local constabulary. *swoon*
On a side note, Junior is the brother of lovely Victoria Agnello, a.k.a. Victoria Gotti, of A&E’s Growing Up Gotti. Yes, that’s right, nobody on the show is actually named Gotti. They publicize Victoria’s maiden name to make millions off the Gotti reputation. If your family makes its fortune through theft and murder, you could be a rich, famous TV star, too! And thanks to the hardcover edition of The Gotti Diet by Frankie GOTTI (Agnello), my kitchen table with one short leg doesn’t wobble anymore. Thanks, Frankie!
[tags]Gotti, mob, trial[/tags]
Sorry about the hiatus! The site will be back up in a few days, just reworking some things, fixing some problems, etc. Soon, all four of you who know about this site will once again be basking in cynicism. I promise.