Found this little gem in a vintage true crime magazine (circa oldentimes):

A 23-year-old journalist and college student has been sentenced to death by an Afghan court for publicly questioning the sexist practices of Islam. According to court records, Sayed Perwiz Kambakhsh posed blasphemous questions in class and distributed an article in the same vein, to which the sick bastard added two — or possibly THREE — paragraphs elaborating his own concerns about Muslim oppression of women.

Since his sentence in January, an international outcry has persuaded the judge to allow Kambakhsh to appeal his conviction. Seems fair seeing as he had no legal representation at his trial.. but it’s been understandably difficult digging up a lawyer with the cojones to represent this kid.

So far the appeal has consisted of a pro se statement in which Kambakhsh argued that pursuit of truth is man’s highest calling, and thoughtful debate is the best method for illuminating reality. Is Islam so delicate that it must be protected from scrutiny? If our aim is truth (rather than bolstering traditional paradigms at the cost of reason), then we should have no qualms about careful examination of ideas and beliefs. Light doesn’t make truth different, it merely makes it visible.

Or at least I’m pretty sure that’s what he meant to say. But, perhaps after passing the gallows on his way into court, his appeal actually went a little more like this:

[Kambakhsh] rejected accusations from some of his classmates and teachers, that he had insulted Islam and the Koran and had distributed an article which said Prophet Mohammad had ignored the rights of women. “As a Muslim … I never allow myself to do such a thing. These are totally lies,” he told the court.

If there is, I don’t wanna know about it.

Megan Meier: In 2006, when she was 13 years old, Megan hung herself in her bedroom closet after receiving a cruel message from her Myspace crush. Her dad later saw it on the screen.. 16-year-old Josh Evans had told Megan the world would be a better place without her. Ouch, baby.

Lori Drew: Megan’s ex-friend’s 48-year-old mom. She heard Megan was saying nasty stuff about her kid, so she invented “Josh Evans” and created a profile for him on Myspace. The plan was to gain Megan’s trust and “find out what she thought about [Lori's daughter] and about other people,” per the police report. Right now she’s neck-and-neck with Britney Spears for Mother of the Year.

Ashley Grills: A 19-year-old temp employed by Lori Drew. She appeared on Good Morning America to defend herself against Lori’s assertion that the shenanigans were all her idea. Per Ashley, Lori was the instigator, even suggesting they could set up a meeting between Josh and Megan at the mall, then show up to laugh at her.

What happened: Megan’s parents found her in her closet, the message from “Josh” still on her computer screen. They had no inkling Josh wasn’t real until six weeks after Megan’s death. The Meiers and Drews lived in the same neighborhood, and eventually word leaked. The Drews became pariahs (my mom says that’s different than piranhas but sometimes I get them mixed up since both are things you don’t want to be around) and a target of self-righteous vandals.

Against the advice of neighbors, Lori and her husband Curt went to the Meiers’ house to “explain” and when they weren’t let in, started banging on the doors. On Thanksgiving. Click the report if you have weak eyes. (It’s okay, nobody’s recording your IP address and selling information indicating corneal defects to your health insurance provider at a tidy profit.)

Local law enforcement didn’t press charges for the Myspace incident because they felt that technically, no crime had been committed. But federal authorities became involved and, in unprecedented precedent, Lori Drew is now facing prosecution for violating Myspace terms of service by creating a false account.

Rob McKenna sez: “The Bill of Rights is part of this complete breakfast!”

Watch out America. The feds are coming after you for that Facebook account you made for the pair of mules in the muddy corral off 228th St in Canyon Park. It’s all fun and games until somebody gets indicted.

[Note: To be fair, you could have made a separate account for each mule; combining them is indicative of your maturity and restraint.]