I admit it: I dislike Myspace. But I don’t loathe it more than any other faddish social networking site. I can actually smell stale beer and vomit emanating from Facebook, and though I’m not totally clear on the details, I’m pretty sure browsing Myspace spreads venereal disease.

But Tom didn’t deserve this. He just wanted everyone to be his friend… is that so wrong? I don’t know who committed this atrocious crime, but there’s no shortage of suspects.

For example, me. I’ve made it pretty clear I don’t like Myspace. I can’t deny it, it’s in the first paragraph, right there in black and white. Also I have no alibi for the murder since no matter what night it took place, I can almost guarantee you I was home, alone, counting my money. And then putting it in penny rolls so the bank lady won’t get mad at me.

Another suspect is This Guy (right). I can’t quite make out his face, but word is he was recently seen in the vicinity of the internet. Clearly he has an ax to grind with Tom… but so do many other 14-year-old Hot Topic customers with twenty bucks of t-shirt money burning a hole in their pocket-protector protected pockets.

The plot thickens.

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For all your $600 gun necklace needs, shop RonHerman.com. It’s funky n cute, provided you don’t pair it with something tasteless like a cowboy hat or a murder trial.

I saw a handcuff necklace like this one in a magazine a few months ago, I liked it at the time… but removed from the fashion spread it’s looking a little less stylish and a tad more fettishesque. If you’re jonesin’ for one, Dolce Vita may or may not sell them.

It’s just that there hasn’t been any crime since July 21.