Thanks to the CSI craze, yesterday’s media was all a-flutter about the “crime scene students” who found a real dead body. Of course, it’s much, much less interesting than that. A Ford Lauderdale teacher, attempting to exploit the inexplicable popularity of network television, sent a bunch of pimpley, squeaky-voiced high schoolers to investigate a fake crime scene set up in the park. During their adventures, the kids stumbled onto the body of an unfortunate homeless man whose claim to fame is that he was found by high schoolers studying a flavor-of-the-week subject glamorized by T.V. shows featuring beautiful actors lifting fingerprints from stylish martini glasses, collecting semen samples from casino orgies, and eviscerating murdered bikini models.
(This moving obituary has been brought to you by Cultural Elitism. Don’t leave home without it.)