The beginning of the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival, along with the deaths of five teenagers in a gang shoot-out last week, serves to reassure New Orleans residents that the city is finally returning to normal. In 2004, for every murder committed in New York, eight people were murdered in New Orleans. Determined not to let Hurricane Katrina change their lifestyle, New Orleans criminals are well on their way to not only meeting, but exceeding pre-Katrina crime rates. Meanwhile, officials continue to point out that crime rates are down overall. Which is just super… then again, there isn’t really much to steal or deface, is there now?
**BREAKING NEWS UPDATE!** In a shocking, completely unexpected turn of events, New Orleans police have revealed that the deaths of the five teenagers may have been drug-related.