Amidst the flurry of media coverage following allegations that noted baseball guy Barry Bonds used steroids and committed perjury, an August lawsuit against Bonds has been almost completely ignored. South Carolina prisoner Jonathan Lee Riches, currently serving ten years for fraud, accused Barry Bonds of numerous crimes including terrorism, moonshining and bat assault. Riches recounted a horrifying instance in which Barry Bonds bench-pressed him against his will, “to show off in front of his ballpark buddies.” Mr. Riches also witnessed Bonds “selling steroids to nuns.”
Jonathan Lee Riches has filed lawsuits involving a variety of high-profile sports figures. In September 2007 his formal complaint stated that the New England Patriots’ Bill Belichick, Tom Brady and Randy Moss had:
…illegally taped my prison phone calls to my family, then sold the tapes to CNN producer Andy Segal who illegally aired my copyrighted voice on ‘CNN Presents: How to Rob a Bank.’ I experienced a invasion of privacy from Defendants’ actions, my heart is broke forever.
In an October 2007 lawsuit, Riches accused George Steinbrenner of several misdeeds including “verbal sodomy”. In addition to his request for a temporary restraining order against Steinbrenner and $100 million in damages, Riches also demanded the return of his whips, chains, shaving cream, lotions and boxers. Other charges:
- Steinbrenner sent me pictures with a leash around his neck being dragged by Abu Ghraib’s [sic] Lyndie England
- He made me eat a banana in front of the 1998 Yankees team
- In a letter shaped as a heart, Steinbrenner wants me to replace Derrick Jeter as shortstop when I come home
- Steinbrenner wants me to be his Fabio and eat “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” without a knife in front of him
- He told me he wants us both to become Roman Catholics and live on waterfront property in Clearwater Beach to watch the sunset together in a bathtub taking Cialis
- He will pay for my federal appeal, in return I have to catwalk and Chippendales dance in the Yankees locker room before each game
I’ll keep you updated.