Sweaty, multi-chinned southern lawyers are pouring themselves a celebratory mint julep in anticipation of the lucrative litigation that will undoubtedly result from the University of Florida’s new health insurance regulations. It seems that UF employees who want health benefits for their domestic partners are required to sign an affidavit swearing that they’re having sex.
This brings up a slew of legal issues. For example, what constitutes a partner? What constitutes sex? And what about employees who are:
- polyamorous
Will UF accept employees with multiple “committed” partners? How can they be penalized when their only crime is loving too much?
- pedophiles
Everyone loves kids. How can employees in intergenerational relationships be penalized when their only crime is loving too much (and child rape)?
- ugly
What if an employee’s partner finds him or her visually repulsive? Should domestic partners with discerning tastes be denied basic health care?
- asexual
Just because a UF employee isn’t interested in sex doesn’t mean his or her illiterate, undocumented Venezuelan houseboy shouldn’t have adequate health insurance.
[tags]University of Florida, health insurance, litigation, domestic partners[/tags]
Crimgirl–How could you support pedophiles in this vile commentary? You are disturbingly ironic…nay, I say, ironic AND funny.